Tell myself, on the ride home. Getting tired, hating all I've known. Holding on, like its all I have. Count me out, when its clear that I find it hard to say, and you find it hard to care. I wanted to see something that's different, something you said would change in me. I wanted to be anything different, everything you would change in me. I've got this way, upfront but never true. God I'm wrong, its just the way I am. Crashing down, any chance you'll hear. Caving in, any chance that you can see inside of me. I'll know what to say, its fine. This isn't Hollywood. So fine, getting in your way. I'm taking a chance, this could be different. This could be all I'm waiting for. I wanted to see something that's different, something you said would change in me. I wanted to be anything different, everything you would change in me.

"Different" by Acceptance

True love exists, yes I know this, my heart was waiting for you. And when we met I felt my chest pound fast, racing for the chance. To know you, to hold you. To open up and show you the way it feels when you know...
You are not alone. Know that I would fight the tides to be together. When you feel alone, listen to this song to make you heart feel better.
Two hearts entwined, yes you are mine, and I'll be yours forever. I've done the math, I'm less than half. We're better off together.I want you here by my side as much as you are on my mind. When I'm gone you should know...
You are not alone. Know that I would fight the tides to be together. When you feel alone, listen to this song to make your heart feel better.
Rainy Monday's feel like Friday's when your smiling at me I can feel the space between us collapsing, our love is everlasting.

I don't know if any of you have ever been in an accident, or had the first one in your own car, but let me tell you something: its one of the scariest things you will ever go thru. I had my first accident this morning at 8:30 in Snohomish on my way to work. I was following a loaded logging truck, and as we came up to an intersection, he slowed down. So I braked a bit, but wasn't really focused on what was going on. The light was green, and for some reason I don't know, he stopped suddenly. How a full logging truck stops fast I can't explain, but he did. Now, let me warn you, DON'T drive if you are extremly tired! I had been out all night, and had some late nights previously. So I was really low on sleep. And my reflexes were wacked out. The next thing I knew, I was brought to a dead stop, and the sickening sound of crushing metal pounded in my ears. Right in front of my windshield was the ends of many logs, some so close I could have reached out and touched them except for the (thankfully) still entact glass. My air bags burst out, sending a greyish blue smoke through my car, burning my lungs and distorting my vision. Then the truck pulled away from my car, logs scraping off my hood, and disappeared down the road. He was totally oblivious to the fact I had just smashed my 2002 Cavalier into him. My steering wheel locked, and my brakes stiffened. I rolled the car out of the intersection as best I could, and then got out. Hot tears streamed down my face as I watched car after car drive by. Every one stared but no one seemed to care. How is it that people have become so heartless these days that they assume things are ok, or that someone else will stop? I am constantly appauled by the fact that so few people care anymore about their fellow man. My chest was aching from being slammed by the air bag and my seat belt locking. And it was so blasted cold! I couldn't stop shaking, and my mind refused to wrap itself around the fact that I had just wrecked my new car. Hours later, I'm still in shock of this. Did I learn something from this? I believe so. Will I make future mistakes? Many, many more. But so goes life, and I'll ride the waves out. I just pray that many of you will be spared from this heartbreak.

Here I am joining others who's time endlessly ticks by as they blog their life away. Why am I doing this? I'm not one for this sort of stuff anyways, but Steve and Matt have sucked me into the world of late night typing. It sounds crazy even to myself because I have way too many other, more important things to do. But alas, I find myself here, hours later, with nothing accomplished to further my life.